Learning to Read the Paper

At the age of 22, I have finally learned how to read the paper. Let us take a look at, my favorite, the New York Times. (The parentheses are the stuff that should be understood from the article.)

Israel Asks U.S. to Ship Rockets With Wide Blast

By David S. Cloud

WASHINGTON, Aug. 10 — Israel has asked the Bush(mert) administration to speed delivery of short-range antipersonnel rockets armed with cluster munitions, which it could use to strike Hezbollah missile sites (or baby Ali, mommy, whoever the hell gets in the way) in Lebanon, two American officials said Thursday..

But some State Department officials have sought to delay the approval because of concerns over the likelihood of civilian casualties (Bush's approval rating has plummeted, perhaps?), and the diplomatic repercussions (everyone already hates us). The rockets, while they would be very effective against hidden missile launchers, officials say, are fired by the dozen and could be expected to cause civilian casualties if used against targets in populated areas (whoa, shocker!)...

If the shipment is approved, Israel may be told that it must be especially careful (as in 33% of your targets are kids) about firing the rockets into populated areas, the senior official said.